Note: The spoken Chinese Mandarin language has 4 spoken tones. We have attempted to re-create those below where after each syllable we tell you (1), (2), (3), or (4) as they correspond to each of the 4 tones. We encourage you to complement your Xianzai.com Emergency Chinese newsletter with a good offline study program.

The All Too Typical Questions:

• What country are you from?
  ni(3) lai(2) zi(4) na(3) ge(4) guo(2) jia(1)?

• Why did you come to China?
  ni(3) wei(4) shen(2) me lai(2) zhong(1) guo(2)?

• Can you use chopsticks? (this is usually asked after they see you use chopsticks)
  ni(3) hui(4) yong(4) kuai(4) zi(3) ma?

• How much money do you make?
  ni(3) zheng(4) duo(1) shao(3) qian(2)?

• Do you have a Chinese spouse?
  ni(3) you(3) yi(1) ge(4) zhong(1) guo(2) pei(4) ou(3) ma?

• Will you teach me English?
  ni(3) jiao(1) wo(3) ying(1) yu(3) ma?

Answers You Can Expect:

Q.What country are you from?
ni(3) lai(2) zi(4) na(3) ge(4) guo(2) jia(1)?
A: Foreigners-land, it's near Holland. (Lao-wai Guo)
wai(4) guo(2) ren(2) de(1) di(4) fang(1). kao(4) jin(4) he(2) lan(2).

Q: Why did you come to China?
ni(3) wei(4) shen(2) me lai(2) zhong(1) guo(2)?
A: I'm running from the law.
jing(3) cha(2) zai(4) wo(3) pi(4) gu(3) hou(4) bian(1) ne(1).

Q: Can you use chopsticks?
ni(3) hui(4) yong(4) kuai(4) zi(3) ma(1)?
A: Yes, I can use them to play drums.
hui(4), wo(3) hai(2) hui(4) yong(4) kuai(4) zi(3) lai(2) qiao(1) gu(3).
Q: How much money do you make?
ni(3) zheng(4) duo(1) shao(3) qian(2)?
A: I lot less than I deserve.
wo(3) zheng(4) de(1) bi(3) wo(3) ying(1) gai(1) de(2) de shao(3) duo(1) le.

Q: Do you have a Chinese spouse?
ni(3) you(3) yi(1) ge(4) zhong(1) guo(2) pei(4) ou(3) ma?
A: I have two. Are you available, because 3 is a better number?
wo(3) you(3) liang(3) ge(4). ni(3) ke(2) yi(3) ma? yin(1) wei(4) san(1) shi(4) ge(4) geng(4) hao(3) de(1) shu(4) zi(4).

Q: Will you teach me English?
ni(3) jiao(1) wo(3) ying(1) yu(3) ma?
A: Will you teach me bungee jumping without a rope?
ru(2) guo(3) mei(2) you(3) sheng(2) zi(3), ni(3) hui(4) jiao(1) wo(3) beng(4) ji(1) tiao(4) ma?

* Hint: Getting to a level where you can joke in a language is a major accomplishment. Keep studying and keep smiling!